Lying in the dark, hearing the large truck pass by, I wondered if it could possibly be our garbage collectors at that early, early hour and immediately hoped we had taken our cans to the curb. I knew I had hit the point of no return then. The thoughts were flooding as the opportunity for any more sleep dried up like my chapped lips in the winter.
“How can I get the boys to talk and share more? I’m not doing enough as a mom. Which bill should I try to pay down the most? I need to find a way to bring in some money for our family. Are the Christmas cookies for the school “swap” due today? I should be more on top of things like other moms. What was it he said in the sermon yesterday about motivation? I can’t really get motivated. God, please help my friend with cancer. I need to be a better friend. Have I marked anything off my Christmas list completely….decor, lights, presents, prepare beds for the college boys returning home, menus?” Sigh, Monday morning was off to a start unlike other mornings…way too early and burdened by the circumstances of life and the self-blame I attached to them.
Sarcastically, I thought, “‘Oh Holy Night,’ not exactly. More like, Oh Sleepless Night.” But like a rainbow over the torrent of thoughts, came the “deep that calls unto deep at the sound of [His] waterfalls.” The flash of that old hymn title galvanized my thoughts in a new direction as the lyrics replaced the worries:
“…It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.
Long lay the world (me) in sin and error pining,
Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.”
That night, long ago, has the power to change all my ‘nights’ forever…He came, brought life, secured me in the shadow of His wings, brought a light yoke and bore my heavy one. In the darkness, I was dwelling “in my sin and errors,” but great reminder, He, came and whispered the worth of my soul, my all, in Him, Emmanuel.
The verse continued to sing to me a new song in the night:
“A thrill of hope, the weary world (even me) rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!”
Still weary, for sure, but awakened by the hope of God in Christ, I knew His mercies were new for me this new, yes and even glorious, Monday morning!
Listen Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jr-2eyRtV4