Want What Is: Day 31


The ticking of the clock booms in our den and calls attention to the passing of time.  I sit and think of lessons over the last 31 days during my  “Want What Is” project on contentment.  A broken vacuum, a broken shower, a new tv, a troubled teen, a gift between brothers, a sore throat, opportunities to share my faith, a hurting friend, a marital “discussion” :>), making ends meet, a fallen tree and a broken fence, a friend in recovery, a little more prayer….all bring a a sort of discontentment.  Discovery dawns, because I, like the singing duo Sugarland, know “there’s gotta be something more.”

I don’t just “want what is.”  My heart and soul cry out for more than is.  Recalling an old saying, I cringe:

“I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.  Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine.  I don’t want enough of Him to make me love [those different than me] or pick beets with a migrant.  I want ecstasy not transformation.  I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth.  I want about a pound of the eternal in a paper sack.  I’d like to buy $3 worth of God, please.”  -Wilbur Reese

I want more of Him.  I don’t  want to settle for $3 worth of glory and satisfy myself with the mundane as I barely taste of the divine.   As C. S. Lewis says,

“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

 Maybe “Want What Is” is a pretty good goal, but possibly falls sickeningly short of the abundant life promised.  The goal is “godliness with contentment.”  A better project title– “Want Him.” Just semantics?  Probably.  Worth thinking about?  Definitely.
The clock ticks and deep calls unto deep with each second.  God makes me want Him.  I feel His pleasure when I respond to the echos of eternity and realize with even greater clarity that not only contentment, but even abundance, is found when my life is totally yielded to Him.

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