Brick walls & blessings….

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I’ve made some dumb mistakes.

I’ve often lost my way, tripped, fallen.

I’ve hit brick walls of my own making.Brick_Wall

I’ve been weak in faith.

And this morning I’m sad about it.

But I still hear His voice, small and whispering, yet rushing, running– the open-armed voice of Love.

I want to beat myself, hide, hang my head and refuse His love.

But you know Him.  He won’t let me.

This morning He led me to the passage in Luke 17 when Jesus talks about the Kingdom of God.  In my state of sick-to-my stomach self-condemanation, replaying my sins over and over, He brought me to the verse, “Remember Lot’s wife.”  Now, this is going to be taking the verse out of context a bit, but I know God is talking to me this morning…”Remember Lot’s wife, Jill.  DON’T LOOK BACK.  It will make you crumble.  Look ahead, look to Me, the Maker of heaven & earth, and I will be your strength.  Know that you are forgiven and that My kindness has led you to this blessed place of humble repentance.  Know that EVEN TODAY I can use you to bless others.”

I thought that just maybe, by sharing this, I might bless you.

I am worse than I ever thought, and more loved than I could ever imagine.  I am in awe of that this morning.

11 responses »

  1. JILL!! I so needed to hear this message! I was just lamenting yesterday how I live in the land of looking back, a land of lies ~ spun by the enemy. His most devastating and yet believable lies are the half truths…the ones that I believe because they are true to a point. How quickly I refuse and forget my Lord’s grace. Sweet Jesus, keep me pointed toward Your Grace ~ undeserved but given freely to me anyway! Thanks for sharing…Love you!!!

  2. Jill, thanks so much for sharing this message and sharing what God said to you this morning. I am so guilty of holding myself hostage to my past mistakes, especially the ones I make as a wife and mother.

    Thanks for the reminder of looking ahead and not behind.

    God bless you!

    Love you! Ann

    • Ann, I LOVE that word picture, “holding myself hostage.” Such perfect wording! He has set us free and we are free indeed…may He help us walk in that freedom!

  3. Thanks, Jill. You did bless me today through this. I’ve struggled with asking myself, “What if I had done xyz differently?” I know it does not bring glory to God to reflect negatively on myself. He has forgiven me and that is what matters. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • Megan, I know what you mean about questioning yourself. Faith in God means we trust in His control over all and even that He, “uses what He hates to accomplish what He loves,” as Randy Pope says! I gotta believe that because I’ve definitely done many things He hates and so often failed to do what He loves!

  4. Ditto, Jill! We truly are all worse than we can imagine and yet He loves us still….His grace is greater than all our sin.I am grateful!!! Thank you for the reminder….you write so beautifully from your heart! Have a great day! Romans 15:13. Barbara

    Barbara Mansfield

  5. Thank you so much Jill for sharing all of this…you are a great writer of your thoughts and feelings. You are reflecting all of us. You are so special!!!!
    Marti V.

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